No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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