i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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