Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
