so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
