I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
