And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize