am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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