Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
