Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
