I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
