Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
