hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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