just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
