worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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