she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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