I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
