you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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