Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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