I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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