The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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