# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Less talking, more tequila
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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