Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
