the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
