Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
