Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Fuck appropriateness.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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