I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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