I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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