i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
