Do you still have your period?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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