i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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