I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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