An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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