his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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