Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I would ride that face into the sunset
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
