Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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