he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
