I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
