I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
In the future we'll all be gay
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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