Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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