all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
