Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize