we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
