If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
