I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
