i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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