You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
