whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
