I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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