Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
