If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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