he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
