I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
