She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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