Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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