sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
