shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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