so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
