so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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