this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
