SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
