that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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