hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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